You’ll notice the blog has been silent for a long while and that’s because in the second half of last year my mum suffered 4 very serious strokes and on top of full time work and a young family, I also took over caring for my aging parents. It’s been rather a whirlwind! In one way I’m lucky. I built them a house in my garden nearly a decade ago to see out their old age, so I’m on hand to keep a close eye on their wellbeing but it’s also become increasingly restricting.
As I administer mum’s medication (which keeps her alive pretty much) morning and night, I can’t go away overnight so holidays are now out of the question meaning my own children are missing out. My parents, during down days, behave with almost childlike qualities, seeking attention and directing their frustrations at me. It’s incredibly hard sometimes just to stay on the treadmill but it’s what you do. There’s no other choice.
This year my dad has lost the majority of use of his hands so having gone from cooking for them both, and being able to shave and drive, he’s now lost that independence. After an assessment and the full support of a social worker wanting to arrange care calls for them both, the local authority decided to offer no help, instead determining that I could handle their care (that’s on top of looking after my own children and running threee companies!).
This came to a head a few weeks ago when my dad actually voiced that he felt like ending it all. In his eyes, he’s a burden. He can’t do basic things for himself, he’s basically lost the will to live.
Luckily the next day he was visited by a physio and I voiced my concerns that his mental health was now in rapid decline and she made calls and we had a rush of activity which ultimately, over the last 10 days, has lead to that care package decision being overturned and they now have 3 calls a day to help with personal care and cooking.
It started well, but they’ve already been declining care calls saying “We’re fine. We don’t need anything” which is all well and good now, but could mean the care package gets withdrawn and it’s going to be impossible for me to care for them come the end of the year when I’ll have my own needs to meet.
That’s because, with all this going on, we had the very unexpected news in May that I am expecting our third child! The baby (a little boy) is due on 23rd December so I’m trying to ensure I look after my own health and wellbeing so I can take care of everyone else. Did I mention that building sale I was working on in my goals post from last year? Yeah, that’s going through in the next 6 weeks too! I must secretly love the drama!
And so, I thought it rather important that I bring the blog back to life if nothing else for the therapy that writing naturally provides. I’ll be sharing my usual business content, random acts of kindness and of course, lots of pregnancy and baby info, which may be of interest if you’re pregnant in your 40s, or if you’ve lost hope after a partner has had testicular cancer. Trust me, with a single testicle and a couple of rounds of chemo, it’s still possible!
So now you know and I hope you’ll all join me on what I know will be a continuing adventure of ups and downs. My story is one of daily victories, tragedies and comedies and I’ve no doubt, if Shakespeare were around today there would probably be a play in my honour. Until next time…